Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Good Advice!

As many of you know, this last weekend was the Women's Retreat at our church. They spent 3 days and 2 nights away from their family and home for a time of rejuvenation and regeneration.

I thought I would take a moment and share some advice or suggestions for all the men out their who were managing the household while they were gone. If you are someone sitting today wondering why your wife went, if she came home in a worse mood then when she left then perhaps this is something worth reading.

This last weekend, although about rest and relaxation was most likely days cram packed with sessions and worship, followed by late nights of girl talk and shenanigans. This translates into a very excited and overtired wife when she gets home.

Here are 10 things I have learned a long the way or read from others who have shared their experiences as well.

  1. Make sure that the entire house is picked up and cleaned before she gets home. That means making the bed, doing the dishes, washing AND putting away clothes and anything else that will make your house clean and tidy for her arrival.
  2. Complete at least 1 honey-do while she is gone. Of course, this does carry exponential rewards relative to the amount of items you complete, but you should at least complete one 1 item to show her you can be trusted alone while she is gone.
  3. Insure that the children are still alive AND bathed when she gets home. They don't have to be Olan Mills Portrait photo ready, but they should look like they can behave in civilized society...
  4. Do not go out and make any ridiculous decisions while she is gone, i.e. buy a new car, decide to move, etc. and the concept that it is a surprise for her will work...but I certainly guarantee not in the way you wanted it will be the one surprised, by her response.
  5. Have dinner plans for the eve of her return already lined up, whether YOU fix dinner at home or you plan to go out. The worse thing you can do when she gets home and gets settled is ask HER what's for dinner.
  6. The first night back is about her. She is going to want to tell you all about her trip. Let her...and listen. What matters to her, should matter to you. If she is excited you should be excited!
  7. Your time "alone" with the kids have given you some time to think about things because you haven't be able to fill your day with other stuff. You are going to want to share your new ideas and thoughts with her when she gets home. Don't. Wait until tomorrow or the next day... see item #6.
  8. Did I mention make sure the house is clean...that includes the kids rooms AND your bedroom. Make your bed, clean the bathroom, restock the toilet paper, wipe your hair out of the bathroom sinks, etc.
  9. I almost hesitated adding this one, it should go without saying...but I am saying it! Take care of your personal hygiene before she gets home. Take a shower, shave, do your hair,clip your nails; what ever it takes to make you look your best. You want her to know that you care about the fact that she is coming home, and you cared enough to look good for her.
  10. Don't expect sex! Remember, she is going to be so excited and exhausted when she gets home. Once the buzz wears off and she fills you in on all the exciting things that happened, she is going to crash. This weekend was about her...don't ruin it by trying to meet your needs when she gets home!
I can't emphasize enough that this weekend was for her...and that includes through Sunday night. She takes care of you the other 51 weekends a month...give her this one!

Good Luck and God Bless!


Sandy Hazenberg said...

Excellent advice Jason. Mind if I copy it to pass along to others? You've got it down perfectly and I'm sure Autumn appreciates it!

Gena said...

Great job! I'm sure Autumn was blessed by your service and love. Dave always makes sure to do this for me, but there are many wives who kind of dread going home for the very reasons you mentioned.

You should just forward this list to the next year's retreat committee so that they can include it with the retreat center phone number to give to husbands in the future. :-)

Hey, Autumn was a great cabin leader. She rocks! (But I'm sure you already know that!)