Monday, November 17, 2008

Man's Most Deadliest Predator - Part 3

This is part 3 of my series on the addiction to pornography.
You can read the early posts here:

Part 1- Introduction
Part 2 - My Story

Addiction or Perversion?

I want to spend a little time today to discuss whether or not the struggle with pornography is an addiction or simply a perversion or habit that we are not willing to deal with.

I think that pornography starts out as a curiousity, an accident, or a perversion. As you first begin to experience how the pornography makes you feel, you begin to move a little bit further beyond that initial interest. For some, it first becomes a simple habit, or "non-harmful aid", that is used for sexual arousal.

However, after a significant time of use, pornography does become an addiction. I realize that some of you, including some spouses, are simply asking how this perversion could possibly be an addiction. That means that you can't control it! Isn't that just an excuse to justify your actions?

Let me clarify. This entire blog series is written with the idea that the addict is 1)honest about their problem, 2) repentant for their actions, 3) willing to do what it takes to seek help. If the person is not willing to admit a problem, or is still hiding or lying about it, then they would not fall into the category of addicts I am referring to!

With that being said, let me explain what I mean about the addiction part. A great deal of this explanation came from 2 articles that I read that helped me to be able to explain the addiction portion. These articles can be read in their entirety here and here. I encourage you to read them when you are done with this post, as I am sure I will not do them justice!

Basically, do you remember that old guy named Pavlov, who had a dog? Do you remember how he was able to get that dog to salivate with a bell? This is known as 'Classical Conditioning'. The average male begins masturbating between 10-14 years of age. After 10 years they have masturbated an average of 1000-3500 times, clearly they have conditioned themselves. Whatever the case, when a man ejaculates he receives the most potent chemical reward the brain can achieve—the brain releases into his system the highest level of endorphins and enkephalins, naturally occurring “pleasure chemicals” which are about 4 times stronger than morphine! This is where the brain becomes addicted to this pleasure, and the addiction has been established.

If the person waits until they have been addicted for 20, 30 or even 40 years the brain has become extremely addicted to this chemical reaction. Notice I said the addiction is to the chemical reaction and not the things being viewed. I say that because even if you remove all possible way for an addict to view images, websites, pictures, etc. the desire will still be there, and will most likely be fulfilled if no other protectors are put into place.

So why go into this detail about the addiction portion? As I continue this discussion over the upcoming posts, I want you to keep this in mind: if you are someone struggling with this addiction, you need help and you have to realize that it is an addiction and to walk away cold turkey is probably not something you will be able to do. If you are a spouse of someone who is struggling with this addiction, you need to realize that the support needed is more than just removing the smut from their lives. It requires good accountability, a grace-filled and supportive spouse who realizes the addict wants nothing to do with this stuff any more, but they are fighting a very strong addiction.

If you are someone who is addicted to pornography, begin praying immediately that you can take this addiction public and get help.

If you are the spouse of someone who is addicted to pornography, begin praying immediately that they would have the support system to help them beat this addiction.

1 comment:

Luke said...

I loved this statement: "If you are a spouse of someone who is struggling with this addiction, you need to realize that the support needed is more than just removing the smut from their lives. It requires good accountability, a grace-filled and supportive spouse who realizes the addict wants nothing to do with this stuff any more, but they are fighting a very strong addiction."

So true! Have you heard of accountability software from Covenant Eyes? You might be really interested in it! Check it out!

www.CovenantEyes.com/blog/about/

Are you on facebook? Check out the cause "Fighting Internet Pornography" and submit some of your thoughts to the readers who are there. You have good ideas! Go to:

www.Causes.com/FightPorn