Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Confused and Frustrated

I am usually pretty cautious when posting about how horrible my life may be going, or the problems that I am going through. This is not meant to give a false impression that I am perfect or anywhere near there. It is usually because I don't want to sound like someone complaining, because in the big picture of Life, I know there are people in a much worse position and going through a lot harder issues.

At the encouragement of my wife, I am changing that today. I have discovered some amazing things today about me and about God that I want to share over the next couple of weeks. However, to do that effectively you need to understand where I have been. So here is a brief synopsis!

The last month I have been heading downward in many areas. My time with God all but dried up. I have become very confused about God's call on my life and very frustrated on everything else that I can't seem to get right in life...finances, car problems, house maintenance. Heck, I can't even mow my lawn...I think we lost one of our kids in the back lawn, not sure though!

As I am sure you can imagine, when we go through times likes these, we typically don't sleep, eat or take care of ourselves very well. In some ways you could compare it to mild depression.

Last night as I laid in bed during yet another restless night, I decided I have had enough! I can't take it anymore and I needed to decide how I can change this. Not knowing what to do, I turned to God for answers. You know what I found? God, waiting patiently for me to come to him for the answers.

I spent 2 hours this morning in quiet time with God seeking answers from His word and from Him. God was there AND He showed me answers. Is this a surprise. No.

However, sometimes we get so wrapped up in self pity that we forget (or lose sight) on where the real answers are. I looked back over the past couple of years at the times when I have gone through this kind of struggle and I found a common similarity. The further from God I am, the more chaotic my life becomes. The closer I am to God the clearer life becomes. Pretty simple I know....why has it taken this long for me to figure it out? This has become my new thermometer and I have given permission to those who push into my life to hold me accountable to that thermometer.

So, on this beautiful Wednesday let me encourage you, if you are going through something and don't know what to do to change, pull out the word and read through of the Bible and just ask God to give you direction in your life.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the honest words--transparency can make it easier for others to see Christ through you! You continue to amaze me--take courage, my friend! God is definitely at work in and through you!