Saturday, June 21, 2008

My Year Through the Bible...I need help!

Have you ever had one of those days (or weeks, months, years) where you were caught off guard and did something that you realize you did because you didn't really have control like you thought you did?

For some that might an unexpected affair that snuck-up on you when you didn't see you coming. Perhaps you have an addiction that you thought you had beat and then out of nowhere you are back where you started and don't know how you got there.

That was the kind of day I had the other day.

As some of you are aware, I love to do a little gambling. Autumn and I play in a home poker game once in a while, and we have fun.

When I was younger and after we first got married, I would take trips to Reno a couple times a year and have some fun at the tables. Most of the time, I was very good, responsible, etc. but every now and then, I would spend a bit more than I planned too.

Once we began having kids, as many of you know, the "fun" money dries up real quick. So we stopped going, as we felt that what little extra money we have would be better spent elsewhere. Plus I was concerned that I could become addicted to it, and I didn't want that.

I truly thought I was not addicted to gambling in any way and that it was not a problem for me. However, it snuck-up on me this last week, when I went to Reno on business. The night at the hotel, I did a little gambling...and a little gambling...and a little gambling.

Finally, I was tired enough that I forced myself away from the tables. How did that happen? How did I loose that control? How did I spend that much money? I really don't know. I didn't even think it was something I struggled with.

(Here's where the scriptural part comes in)

I went back to my room just frustrated. I was soooo hard on myself. I just wanted to cry out to God for forgiveness. Yet, I really was struggling with what to say.

Then I began my reading in the Word, and was brought to Psalm 102:

Hear my prayer, O LORD;
let my cry for help come to you.

Do not hide your face from me
when I am in distress.
Turn your ear to me;
when I call, answer me quickly.

It was then that I realized that I was in distress and I needed to seek God. I needed to turn to him for strength, guidance and wisdom and allow him to guide me with what I can do to work through this.

That is why I am blogging now. To remind us all that no matter how confident we are in beating an addiction, struggle or weakness, we need to be on a constant watch and never let our guard down...or it may sneak up on you!

Cry out to God in your weakness. Let Him be your strength and allow Him to answer you.

God Bless!

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